If the women’s room door lock is broken like it was last time the Missus was at the Lounge on Elm, one or all of the band’s members will personally guard the door while you are inside.*

*During the time the Missus are playing on stage, they will be unable to do this. However, you will not want to go to the women’s room during this time anyway.

The 100th Missus fan at the Lounge on Elm this Thursday to see the Missus will get a free soft-serve cone from Chick-Fil-A.

If you go to see the Missus this Thursday at the Lounge on Elm, the band will fight for you get a large cash settlement in your next civil lawsuit.*

*Lawsuit must involve a yeti, griffin, or other mythical creature.